


You and I Would Add Up Better Than a Riemann Sum

by grapenight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bad Puns, Bad date, First Dates, M/M, Mathematics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 01:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6264475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapenight/pseuds/grapenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know, I know a lot of mathematicians who work at home, because they only function in their domain," Harry continued. </p>
<p>Another laugh came from behind them, while Charlie only developed more of a frown. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or, Harry goes on the worst date of his life, only to be saved by the stranger who actually thinks his jokes are funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and I Would Add Up Better Than a Riemann Sum

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from this post [here](http://larrie2k16.tumblr.com/post/141094196463/au-where-harry-is-on-a-date-at-a-caf%C3%A9-shop-or-smth) and I got inspired and wrote this little fic in about two hours. This is probably awful, apologies in advance.

"You have a date?" Liam asked, sitting up straight with a shocked expression on his face. 

Harry took his jacket off and tossed it at Liam's face. "Yes, I have a date, you ass, don't act so surprised." 

"It's just you haven't gone on a date in so long! I thought you might've thrown in the towel or something," Liam replied, picking up Harry's jacket from where it had landed, on the back of the couch and throwing it back to him. "That's great to hear, though. Who is it?" 

"His name is Charlie, he's in my stats class. We've sat near each other the whole semester, and his hair is always perfect. Every single day. And he's really good at math, he'll always help me out if I don't understand anything. I told him I liked his shirt today, and then after a couple minutes of talking, he asked me out." 

"That's awesome, good for you. Maybe you'll actually end up spending the night sometime, and then I can bring home whoever I want." 

"Shut up, Liam, you and I both know your idea of an exciting night is having the place by yourself so you can hog the TV the whole night." 

"I really can't argue with you," Liam agreed. 

Harry laughed, and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "I know you too well. You should see if you can get a date, that's a wonderful idea. Imagine us both being in relationships! We can go on double dates and play board games and-" 

"Let's hold off on planning anything until we actually get in the relationships," Liam interrupted. 

Harry huffed out a sigh, and grabbed the remote, flipping to the guide to check out what was on. "Fine, if you're going to be such a party pooper, I'm going to choose what we watch." 

 

 

 

The next day was Saturday, which was also the day of Harry's date. He got up much earlier than he normally would on a weekend, and spent that extra time to go all out in the shower, using all of his nicest products. He was even careful with his hair, adding a tiny bit of gel to solidify his curls into the prettiest manner. 

The rest of the day was spent bickering with Liam, while also making Liam help him choose an outfit for his date. 

"I hope I don't come across as an asshole, I'm just so nervous," Harry said to Liam as he held a shirt up to his own chest, turning to the mirror to see how it looked. It was hideous, and Harry threw it on top of the no pile. 

Liam immediately handed him another shirt. "You're literally the nicest person ever, until you get comfortable enough around a person and turn into your true form, sassy asshole. You've got awhile until you reach that point though, so maybe you can reel him in before then, like you did me." 

Harry inspected the shirt Liam had given him before quickly throwing it in the no pile. He walked the couple steps over to Liam to hug him around the neck, resting his head on his arms. 

"You love me, shh. You're my best friend," Harry whispered. 

"I know, I'm just messing with you. You're so nervous for this date, you're getting fiesty. It'll be great, though, I'm sure, don't worry." 

"Thanks, Li," Harry said, swinging them around gently. "You're just like a giant teddy bear. You're better, though, because you give good advice." 

Liam laughed and patted Harry on the back. "Glad I could help, bud. Now we better pick an outfit, so you can look as hot as possible." 

 

 

Harry was ten minutes into the date, and he was certain he had never been in such a boring conversation before. He had never seen Charlie outside of Stats, before, and that seemed like the only topic he wanted to talk about. Harry could think of about a thousand topics he'd rather talk about. 

"Have you started the homework yet? It's really challenging, I was so proud of myself when I got the answer to number 25," Charlie rambled on. 

Harry had to hold back a yawn. It might have been awhile since he had been on a date, but he was pretty sure you weren't supposed to talk about homework. It was still pretty early, though, and Harry still had hope that they could salvage the date. He had gotten so excited at the date, and the prospect of maybe having a boyfriend in the near future, and he didn't want to give that all up just because some boring conversation. Maybe Charlie was just as nervous as he was, and he was talking about things he knew they had in common. 

"No, I haven't started the homework, actually. What's your favorite movie?" Harry said, abruptly changing the subject. 

They were in a café, which was just off campus, where Harry had been a few times and loved. They had a wide variety of drinks, pastries, and sandwiches, which caused them to be quite popular, especially with the students. They had about ten tables, mostly lined up on the walls, near the windows, so if worst came to worst, Harry could just look out the window and people watch for entertainment. He didn't want to let it get to that point, though. 

"Oh, I actually watched this fascinating documentary the other day, called The Joy of Statistics, and I was thinking-" 

Harry's eyes almost bulged out of his head, and he stopped listening immediately. He contemplated the possibility of the entire date being some joke, because he wasn't sure a person could actually be that interested in statistics. It was just a mandatory course, he didn't think anyone actually cared that much. 

Another twenty minutes passed, and Harry was sure is wasn't a joke, because no person could possibly handle the topic of numbers for so long just because of a shitty prank. Charlie actually was that interested in it. 

Harry didn't really blame him, he had lots of interests of his own, and he had been known to ramble on about them occasionally, but he knew when to stop. And Charlie didn't, which was evident after Harry's many attempts to change the topic of conversation, only for it to always be related back to stats, or math in some manner. 

"Hey, Charlie, did you hear about that cookbook that a math professor and a statistics professor wrote together?" Harry said. If he couldn't change the subject, he could at least try to relate it to something he knew well. 

Charlie looked confused, and shook his head slowly. 

"It was called 'Pi A La Mode'," Harry couldn't keep the grin off his face as he said it, and he waited for a reaction from Charlie, but was disappointed when he didn't laugh, or even smile. 

"That's kind of stupid," Charlie finally commented, and Harry was slightly offended. He hid his feelings, and decided to try again. 

"Okay, but what do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplace?" 

Charlie looked a little reluctant to say anything. "I don't know. What?" 

"Natural logs." 

It was quiet, until a short chuckle sounded into the air. Harry was halfway into a large smile before he realized that Charlie wasn't the one who laughed, and he was still rocking a pretty sour expression on his face. Harry turned around, following the noise, and saw a boy, probably roughly his age, with a beanie and a loose sweatshirt, sitting at the table behind them, facing their table. 

The boy's head was ducked down, but Harry could still see a slight smile, his fringe not falling low enough to completely hide his face. At least someone appreciated Harry's jokes. 

He decided to keep them going, because even Charlie's lackluster reactions were better than the previous conversation. 

"You know, I know a lot of mathematicians who work at home, because they only function in their domain," Harry continued. 

Another laugh came from behind them, while Charlie only developed more of a frown. 

"To be honest, though, I'm pretty bad at math. So 2n plus 2n is 4n to me." 

Again, laughter came from behind them, and Charlie's pretty face was close to forming a scowl. 

"You're not being cute, or whatever you think you're doing. You're actually being quite annoying, and immature," Charlie told him. He had his arms crossed in front of him, and was pouting, like a child would. Harry was finding himself less and less attracted to him. 

Harry pushed back his chair, and placed enough money on the table to pay for his meal. "You do have a good point, I was kicked out of math class for too many infractions. Guess I couldn't cut it here either. Thank you for the date, but I think we're on planes, it was a bit irrational for me to think we'd be a good couple. Good night." 

He turned around just in time to seen the boy at the table behind him laugh so hard his drink spurted back down his shirt. Harry went up to the counter, grabbed a few napkins, and returned to the boy's table, offering him the napkins. 

He smiled, and took them, wiping off his sweatshirt. "Thank you. I usually don't make this much of a mess when I drink something." 

"It's okay. I usually don't spend a whole date telling puns, but look where I am." 

"Yeah, I heard that. I usually don't creep on other people's dates, but the boy was so cute, and looked so bored, and then it turned out he had a handful of puns. Would you like to sit down?" The other boy gestured at the seat across from him. "The table should be clean, I promise." 

Harry smiled, and took the seat. He saw Charlie walk out of the restaurant, and he didn't feel bad at all. 

"Thank you. I'm Harry," Harry said. 

The other boy smiled, "I'm Louis." 

His smile was bright, and Harry was already enthralled. 

"Was that a really bad date?" Louis questioned. his eyes were sincere and Harry was already more interested than him than Charlie.

"I spent the last half an hour listening to him ramble on about statistics. Honestly, our professor is more interesting than he is. It was like I was in class, but somehow worse. I even tried to change the subject, but he always managed to bring it back."

"I'll have you know, I hate math entirely, unless it's in the form of silly puns," Louis said. 

"Oh, that's great. I heard a lot of mathematicians don't practice safe six, and end up with a binarial disease. Probably best not to go on dates with them." 

Louis laughed, holding nothing back this time. His laughter was like music, light and pleasing, and Harry wanted to hear it again and again. He also wanted to him, and feel his stubble against his own cheeks. And he wanted to curl up on a couch with him, steal his sweatshirt for himself, and to be wrapped up in warmth and _Louis_. Harry wanted a lot.

"I personally love safe six. You should go on a date with me, and maybe we try it out soon," Louis replied. 

Harry nodded excitedly. "I would love to." 

 

 

 

 

"How was the date with Charlie?" Liam hounded as soon as Harry walked through the door. As expected Liam was lounging on the couch, a movie paused on the screen. 

"Let's just say our relationship does not exist. He talked about stats the entire time, and didn't laugh at any of my puns. I took it as a sine that we wouldn't get along. But, I met a lovely, ridiculously handsome, pun appreciator named Louis, and spent about two hours talking to him. He's so funny, great at keeping a conversation, and we're going on a date Friday. You better find a date soon, because I have a feeling Louis and I are going to ready for a double date soon, and we'll come armed with math puns."

**Author's Note:**

> Did you hear the one about the statistician?
> 
> Probably
> 
> (Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed, sorry about all the bad math puns!!! Also, let me know what you think! And yes, I did spend an hour googling math puns. And my tumblr is [louiswolves](http://louiswolves.tumblr.com/) if you want to chat or something haha)


End file.
